As my internship with Roabin reaches its final few days I have been asked to look back over the past two and a half months and consider the entire experience. I need to look over the entire blog and everything else that has been done during the internship and then determine what is left to be done in the remaining days to come. I determined, thus, that two things needed to be addressed - 1) Traits of my personality which I believed needed focus/change. 2) Things we had started during the internship and now had to give a sense of definiteness or closure.
Personality Traits -
1) As I read my various blog-posts and letters, I realized, from words here and there, that at times I was overly apologetic. Analysis brought us to the conclusion that this may be attributed to my characteristic cautiousness and/or my lack of self belief/confidence. Therefore, this is the first thing I realized needed to be handled. Roabin and I have started this interesting exercise wherein I will be penalized by way of a monetary fine whenever I am overly apologetic are show a lack of confidence in my thoughts and ideas. Maybe this method will work miracles.
1) As I read my various blog-posts and letters, I realized, from words here and there, that at times I was overly apologetic. Analysis brought us to the conclusion that this may be attributed to my characteristic cautiousness and/or my lack of self belief/confidence. Therefore, this is the first thing I realized needed to be handled. Roabin and I have started this interesting exercise wherein I will be penalized by way of a monetary fine whenever I am overly apologetic are show a lack of confidence in my thoughts and ideas. Maybe this method will work miracles.
2) I am admittedly self absorbed. This is the second personality trait that I believe needs to be addressed. I am so concerned with my limitations, my problems, my issues that I fail to see that my lack of self belief finally affects the work I’m doing with other people. I need to get over myself.
As far as things started go, I thought of 3 things in particular., viz. change in Nanda ma’am & Nilesh, change that Roabin and I wanted to bring about in a few of the members of a particular organization, and change in me. Though progress has been made on the first and last of the three I still need to give closure to these changes, i.e. a sense of completeness and wholeness. I do know positive changes have taken place in Nanda ma’am. She’s shown her generosity by giving. She has also shown an understanding of the belief that all people are equal (a deserved defiance of the Big man - Small man theory). She has shown the ability to reflect and think. Changes in me too are quite noticeable. I’ve done things over the past half and two months that I would have never imagined I’d do. I’ve even develop good friendships. While I still need to work on my self-absorption and lack of confidence I do realize that the answers for these are within me.
Closure may not be too far away…
Its wonderful to introspect, for it gives one the time and platform to change, if necessary that is!
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if this is gonna be the end of your writing, which I sincerely hope is not the case!
Naturally, my question arises from the title of this post and the mention that you made in the course of it!
Also, please check your feeds, because, though this post seems to have been published yesterday, I did not see your blog updated on the recently published list in my blogroll meaning that there is a problem with your RSS feeds, perhaps!