Gaining in Return

Last Wednesday was a tough day and resulted in me feeling quite low in spirits. These feelings carried over to the next day and the day after that. It was at this point that I decided that I would meet Nanda ma’am again. Roabin and I discussed a few issues and we arrived at the conclusion that this meeting with Nanda ma’am would serve several purposes. I could unload the pain just by talking about the issues I had faced and we could see whether Nanda ma’am, who happens to be very busy, would listen and try to give back. In other words we could determine whether this relationship constituted a unidirectional charitable relationship or a mutual friendship.

            For starters, Roabin had a conversation with Nanda (though I’d have preferred it if I had been the one who talked to her first) and told her that I was feeling miserable and that I needed someone to talk to. As expected, she questioned him as to why I wanted to talk to her of all people. Roabin’s response was that Nishant connects to very few people (being a social introvert) and since he had connected to Nanda he felt like talking to her. Still a little surprised she agreed to meet me and what a meeting it was.

            Once there, I was offered a lunch of rice, dal and fish curry (that typical coastal fish curry made with kokam which is so delicious). Having stuffed myself before the meeting I refused. It turned out to be a remarkable meeting because we had thought provoking discussions which I could never have imagined would have happened 2 months ago. People of Nanda ma’am or Aji’s background have an ingrained belief that the “sahib” is the “big man” whereas they in terms of self-worth are “small”. Aji was very vocal about this opinion of hers. Having worked at many homes she proudly proclaimed the formal distance she’d maintained from her employers as a sign of respect for the “big man”. Her point of view was that this distance needed to be maintained and that it didn’t mean that there were no feelings of fondness or devotion towards the family she was working for (after all she was also a mother to every child at every home she’d worked in). I told her my opinion was that there was no big and small and that Roabin was also of that opinion. Surprisingly, Nanda ma’am agreed wholeheartedly(Progress?? Learning??) At this point Aji responded by saying something to the effect of that old English saying “The Colonel's Lady and Judy O’Grady are sisters under their skins!” Her point was that the respect she gave to her employers was a respect for all that they had achieved in their lives.

            Once I spoke to Nanda ma’am about the issues that were tormenting me (which I cannot mention here at this point in time) she gave me her time and her ears and some sound advice. So to answer the question “Did she give me something in return?” Yes she did.

P.S. - I believe Nanda ma'am has asked Aji to speak to me only in Marathi from our next meeting onwards. That just might help me learn the language and its about time!