A Different Brick Wall

We’ve had a breakthrough of sorts. Nanda ma’am wasn’t answering the calls that we were trying to make for the past couple of days. However, Roabin managed to get across yesterday and had a long and enlightening conversation with her. We had realized that something wasn’t right when all communication with her had come to a momentary stand still. She was obviously facing an internal struggle of some kind and was, as a result, showing resistance. (We took that as a good sign - her resistance was symptomatic of the advent of changes in her life)

It turns out that societal scrutiny wasn’t the only thing boggling her mind. She revealed other underlying troubles as well. One fact was that she believed Nilesh lacked confidence to meet me by himself. Initially I was taken aback at hearing this. However, considering how edgy I myself get while meeting new people, I deemed it understandable. Nanda ma’am was of the opinion that if Nilesh were to meet me in the future it would have to be in her company. The fact that she said all of this showed that there was deep thought and understanding on her part with regard to the entire situation. She went on to say that this inference posed other bigger problems for her. Being a single parent, and the sole bread-winner, her work took up most of her time and came second to nothing. She really couldn’t take repeated breaks from her work just to accompany Nilesh in our meetings. That would mean risking losing her job.

We had already seen problems with regard to Nanda maam’s work. We’d seen how the constant requirement for her to attend to work had led to inattention towards Nilesh. It’s something she really couldn’t help. So while she was at work there was no one playing the role of the disciplining hand in Nilesh’s life. The little time she had with him she used to pamper him (after all he is her only child). With no one to watch over him in these his young impressionable years, things had already begun to go wrong. He was showing anger and refusal to listen to his mother. He was also exhibiting all the signs of being spoilt. This was leading to other problems. Nanda ma’am felt forced to be stricter. However, slapping and other such methods aren’t really any good because it is this disciplinary style of beating children that advocates violence in all the youth that come from slums.

The added problem was that she didn’t know what to choose. There wasn’t any choice really. Work had to be priority. Leaving work for the child’s sake was out of the question. This brings to light so many of the differences in the way of life in different strata of society. Here we learn about the difficulty of raising a child in a slum but also of doing so by playing the role of a single parent. In a more complete family the parents can communicate and share the responsibility of helping their child. Work needn’t or may not come in the way.

So then our brick wall has taken newer dimensions. Clambering up this one may be a lot more arduous. Any Suggestions?

Tschüß.