I forgot to mention one of the most important occurrences during my visit to Nanda ma'ams home before Diwali. So I'm adding it here. During the visit, Nilesh (finally looking at me while talking with me) asked me to take him for a car ride so that he could buy some fire-crackers. My response was a simple "No"...
I asked him why I should give him a car ride. The question seemed to confuse him. So to make things clearer I told him that I had no reason to help him out in this manner, that once Nilesh showed some interest in the endeavors I hoped to carry out with him then I would reciprocate. I don't know if the lesson stuck (hence the question marks in the title). If not now maybe, just maybe, it'll have some effect later in his life...
A question I needed to ask readers - Am I being too exacting in my efforts to mentor Nilesh, an eleven year old? Or do I need to be relatively firmer with him because, due to the place granted to him by birth, it is a tough life that he has to lead ?
Having not yet read through the antecedents of this space, I am of the view that mentoring is a process involving a measurable mix of assertiveness and kindness and definitely not just any one of it! Now, how one considers being assertive or kind or both, in any given situation is largely one's prerogative and surely varies with time, experience and age!
ReplyDeleteI must say that this is a wonderful space and am happy I stumbled upon here! Also, like you, I'm very thankful for being a resident of Pune, coming to increasingly realize this during the last few weeks of my year and a half long stay here!
Good blog and a very clear thought process in the description!
@ Rakesh - Hello and thanks for the comment. Finally some help!! I wholly agree with what you have said - that assertiveness & kindness play important roles in the mentoring process, when put together rather than when used singly. Time, experience and age (of the mentee & the mentor)are extremely important factors. However in this case, the situation of the mentee (the fact that he comes from a slum)is an all too great an influence and cannot be discounted, especially since most everything that surrounds him wills him to do all he can to avert the mentoring process. So thats a thing I'm having to work against.
ReplyDeleteAm glad to hear from someone who has also has a glad-to-be-in-Pune stance.